Tuesday, December 11, 2012

The Guinea Pig As a Pet Review

Well, there comes a time in your life when every new person you meet becomes utterly predictable and has no new value or fun to add to your life. Or not? I don't know or care really, maybe. Anyway, to proceed with this specific stream of thought without further unnecessary contemplation which would obstruct this perfectly normal and fluid introduction to a new review, and to not get interrupted anymore with second thoughts, because I have to be consistent and readable, then you decide it is time for a change.. of species. Not in a sexual way of course, unless you tend to become famous by exploring your physical and mental limits.

The Guinea Pig As a Pet Review

The Good

  1. Extremely cute bastards, even if you are alpha tough and eat thai children for snacks.
  2. Does not require much from you - give it lots of hay and water, give it some funny pellet food and those green things that do not talk, and it will be happy. Or it will not, but you will because those things are mostly cheap.
  3. Likes to explore and to be held.
  4. Very cheap. In some countries it is very recommended to adopt, not to buy, so - it is free!
  5. Their poop is like a small dry pellet, so there is not much mess with it. 
  6. They can swim!
  7. Put them on the grass, they eat grass.
  8. If you forget that they exist, they will remind you to feed them by making some funny guinea pig sounds
  9. They can not severely hurt you. Don't bear a grudge if they try though.
  10. User Friendly. Unless it bites you, but then, you probably have deserved it. Sometimes guinea pigs tend to organize themselves into small groups (they are herd animals) and perform a cello concert after eating their owners brains from a teacup with a flower decor. Just kidding, they hate the flower decor.

The Bad

  1. Bites if irritated or scared or agitated or, how would the academics say, if they be pissed.
  2. Makes mess if not encased in cage with walls (hay and shavings everywhere).
  3. Regularly eats its own poop directly from its anus (I am not joking).
  4. You need to clean the cage regularly (more regularly then your own living space). There is a hack of a method using Vinegar and Baking Soda though.
  5. Needs company (preferably of the same species).
  6. You need to trim its nails.
  7. On occasions you can see on the Internet people eating them (and it does not look all that bad..) 
  8. Actually, most of the other animals wants to eat them.
  9. They look like a loaf of bread. There is nothing exciting about looking as a loaf of bread.
  10. Very delicate beings. They can break, get ill, get parasites, die, and all that annoying stuff.

For more serious info about this animal, please visit Guinea Pig Manual: All about guinea pigs.

Recommendation prerequisites:

  1. You are not thinking of eating the poor thing.
  2. You do not own a cat. Or a siberian tiger.
  3. You do not mind the prey characteristics of the animal.
  4. You want a pet, but you do not want a having-a-dog-like obligations.
  5. You ARE going to feed it, clean its cage, cuddle it and trim its nails (or find someone who WILL, while you drink beer and contemplate the meaning of the small granules in the wall.)
  6. If you like to travel, you don't mind stucking the cage in the car so it can travel with you.


  1. You did not write any girlfriend reviews, or did you? :-)

    1. Not yet, but it is in my to-review list. But as I conveniently have all the eternity to do it, I have decided not to risk painful injuries before doing all the cheery stuff before that. :)